A brassy peal emanates from the corner of campus, spreading
its eerie power in a shockwave throughout Gordon’s domain. For just a second,
the campus stops. Chemistry majors look up from their lab work, soccer players
on the quad turn their heads, studiers in Jenks lose their place in Our Father Abraham. Some sigh, some crack a cynical joke, and
some shrug their shoulders. Despite our individual reactions, for just a
moment, we are united. Gordon is rich with legend, and few Scots haven’t
claimed the tales of the car at the bottom of Gull pond or of Teddy Roosevelt’s
horse buried under the quad as part of their heritage. The mysterious lore
surrounding Gordon’s history certainly plays a role in shaping our identity as
students here, but nothing seems to compare to the metal monument that lounges
proudly in its gazebo throne, observing passersby under its sway. The cultural
icon that has the power to bring us together for better or for worse is that
wonderful, terrible old bell*.
We see its power
in conversations, humming at a constant din throughout the four years, first
starting off wistfully, hopefully, then morphing gradually into a senior
cynicism or a lifeless joke. The bell makes regular cameos at Gordon Globes,
providing a source of comic catharsis for those who find themselves bemoaning
the infamous Gordon ratio or the rabid desperation of Gordon girls. The bell is
occasionally rung by the reckless non-respecter of its sacred power, but the
rest of us know that only under one circumstance may you ring it and leave
unscathed.
The bell’s renown
reflects the fact that Christian colleges, and Christian culture in general, is
infamous for framing marriage as the cardinal goal of life. Our generation is
known for pushing back against the pressure to marry young, but still, the
cultural constructs of American Christianity loom over Gordon culture,
encouraging unhealthy interaction between the sexes. Many people I have talked
to are familiar with the awkward apprehensiveness of male-female interactions
at Gordon. The vicious cycle goes like this: Christian girls have a reputation
for singling guys out as possible husband material; thus, guys fear that too
much friendliness on their part could be mistaken as a marriage proposal.
Assuming that Gordon men hold this view of them, many women also mete out their
friendliness and smiles in controlled doses for fear that they will project a
message of desperation. I have seen and experienced the frustrating awkwardness
of this cycle again and again, and I have also seen a striking contrast in my
two times studying abroad, where I was able to seamlessly befriend members of
the opposite sex without fearing that they would think my attentions were a
desperate plea for a ring.
Not only is the
emphasis on marrying young damaging to relationships now, but it sets us up for
disappointment when we actually marry. With the best of intentions, Christian
culture spreads the propaganda that marriage is the answer to our problems and
the beginning of our lives. As such, marriage is one of the prime idols of
single Christians everywhere, an antidote to loneliness and a license for
guilt-free sex. And like all idols, it doesn’t deliver what it promises. The National Center for Health Statistics reports
that 60% of couples who marry between the ages of 20 and 25 decide to divorce,
10% more than the national average. This is not to say that there should be a
ban on young marriage, but it does illustrate that at least 60% of young people
tying the knot discover that marriage is not the cure-all that they had
envisioned.
But to be fair, perhaps
the lore of the bell is casting a shadow of untruth on the nature of Gordon
students. Although perceptions about the opposite sex’s intentions do seem to
inhibit cross-gender friendships, the quest for a ring does not define the
majority of the students I know. I do not see girls paralyzed by fear that they
won’t find “the one” at Gordon. I do not see lazy young men, too indifferent to
commit. No, I see men and women pursuing their God-given callings with
direction and confidence. I see students investing in lives in the city of
Lynn, I see RAs committed to loving their floors, I see blossoming mentorships
between faculty and students. In short, I see people invested in deep
relationships whether or not they lead to the altar.
I admit that when
I first heard the legend of the bell, I hoped that one day I would join the
ranks of ringers. But now that four years have gone by without anything
resembling that type of relationship, I can say with confidence that I have no
regrets. Statistics say that for most of us, marriage will eventually come. But
regardless of that fact, there is no use in spending four years chasing a fantasy
when the opportunity for deep relationships is at its peak. So love the legend
of the bell. Laugh, roll your eyes and pass on its magic to the classes to
come. Just don’t let it take a toll on your perspective.
*The bell on Gordon College's campus is only to be rung by couples who have just gotten engaged. Lore has it that if you ring it under any other circumstances, you will have 7 years of bad luck, or worse, 7 more years of singleness...
